Embrace the darkness;
It's choking solitude is merely a test.
Grasp the calmness into a blanket of tranquility;
Trusting in its quiet comfort.
Allow clouds of distractions to pass;
Choosing to ignore their clutter.
Emit soul-inspiring warmth;
Validating worth without reciprocation.
Cast rays of encouragement;
Dismissing peripheral shadows.
Shine with unapologetic brightness;
Filtering energy with discretion.
Fade with the pace of the day;
Adjourning from responsibility.
Rest;
Recharge;
Rise;
Relentlessly;
As if you were the sun.
Raise your hand if you have a mentally ill family member.
Turns out we all do, whether we recognize it or not and when that persons well being becomes your responsibility you get a much better picture of what we are not doing to help others.
In the great state of Texas there is no help. I have done the leg work and been boots on the ground in it for the last 7 years and while there are absolutely numbers to call, funds set aside to address, and organizations that will listen to your frustrations.
With numerous calls over many years, almost every person stated that they too had a family member that was mentally ill or had lost someone close to them due to mental illness. With a defeated tone to their voice, often they would elaborate that these experiences are what compelled them to get involved with the group that I had called, and they wished they could do more to make a difference.
What you can get is people to pray for your family, and they are very sorry you are dealing with such difficult situations. So far those prayers and "I'm sorry" have made no impact.
It does not surprise me at all that Texas lands in the very last position for access to services. Link to 2024 State of America's Mental Health and states ranking: https://mhanational.org/issues/state-mental-health-america
What all of this tells us is that essentially 1 in 5 adults or 1 in 4 juveniles, in Texas is suffering from a mental illness or has reported symptoms related to mental health, even if it were temporary.
So if you do not commit suicide as a juvenile you can look forward to very little to zero standards of care or access to assistance as an adult.
The fact of the matter is that we are failing as humans and we can and should do better. If you do not want to do better for a stranger's well being, statistically, its only a matter of time before it will be for your loved one. Or maybe even for you.
He told me about the day he decided he wanted to quit life.
He had called a friend, unsure what he was looking for or what to say, other than he was done.
Friends have a way of cutting through the bullshit and calling it like it is real friends do anyway.
Friend: Alright. So, you're not functioning. You can't deal with life. You choose to stop.
What that means is I will put you in a place to do that. They will take care of you, facilitate this existence, the way you prefer.
You won't have a worry in the world.
They'll give you medication, won't feel a thing. You will become slack jawed, and they will put you in a diaper.
But you'll have what you want, since you are nonfunctioning, and you can't deal with life.
Well, wait, that's not what I meant...
Oh, so you can function. That's not how you want things to look from here on out?
They shared a tense, but much needed laugh.
So, what's the problem?
I don't know what to do.
You are heart broken. Struggling. Of course you are. You've been kicked in the teeth more times than you can count. You picked yourself up, by yourself, every damn time.
And you're telling me you can't do it one more time.
It's not that I can't.... I just don't want to. Not like this. I want things to be back the way they used to be.
I miss that. I miss me. I miss us.
I miss everything.
Well, I don't have to tell you that that's impossible. You know that. So, what are the other options?
I don't know.
I would be sad if this is what you want. I would miss my friend, but I won't go see you in that place. This is your call, nobody can do it for you. So, stop or keep going. If you want to keep going, I'm with you every step of the way. I can't be a part of you choosing to stop though.
I don't know what to do. I'm lost and don't care.
You recognize all of the good and the bad and keep going. Pull all the hurt, pain, sadness and put it together, recognize each one and put it in all in a big ole wheelbarrow. Really take time on it, but you don't get to stay in that.
Give them the time of day and fill your wheelbarrow.
And you cart that thing to the top of the cliff. Cry, be angry, laugh, and remember it as it was, all the way to the top. Once you get to the edge, give it thanks for making you, you, and you dump every bit of it over the edge.
Watch it fall, that you gave it appropriate attention and then that you let it go. You gave it away. And you don't have to carry it anymore, you live. You keep going and you only carry what happens from here on out, but you keep going. And I am with you when you need to balance or to walk beside you. But this is your path and it's up to you to decide.
He said that conversation was 20 years ago, and he thinks about it every day, and he keeps going.
And so could I.
Rural, small-town Texas could invoke the vision of perfectly manicured lawns with an Andy Griffith vibe, sports teams singing the national anthem, apple pie, fireworks on the 4th of July, and dirty hands because we work hard for everything we have, by God.
Who doesn’t get patriotic goosebumps with this version of our country, state, or community, which inherently will prevail. We proudly wave American flags with faith and are our own biggest fans. The United State of America is our favorite team.
What happens when you find out that the team you invested in isn’t what you thought it was? In good faith we believe the folks we elect or put in positions are there because they are the best one to do the job. They know the requirements of the job, how to do it and do it right.
Right?
They have access to accurate data, obtain expert opinions, and review historical records relating to any decision at hand, right? No way to do all of that without communication and input from the community r those affected by decisions being made, right?
When was the last time folks in these positions made it a point to notify us, hold town hall meetings, share information and were available for feedback?
We can each choose to not participate, dismiss information, or pick and choose what we want to believe, but a system is nonfunction and will not sustain success if there is no accountability and info shared is filtered or nonexistent.
Without vigilant oversight and consistent participation there will be corruption. We are easily stepping into the distractions laid before us. We pick up the bull horn of hate and bark at our neighbors without thinking of anyone else. What do other nations see and think of all of this, and how has that changed our social status and credibility?
We are single handedly contributing to generational blood wars against us. There is no democratic or republican party to fight against, there is an agenda that is being pushed and has been pushed before you and I were even alive.
We are all waking up to new truths and it's a brain ninja, no doubt. We are being nickeled and dimed, working till exhaustion, and taking pride in missing our kids growing up or dealing with health and physical ramifications for the gold star of being workaholics.
We are dying younger, we are unhealthy, and unhappy. Question every single thing you are hearing and if you are not looking things up, aside from a google browser, then you may not have gotten the whole story.
There is a reason they want us to hate each other and not work together. We are witnessing the backslide of everything we know, and we have done a primo job of being the biggest bully on the block. If you are not worried about it, you should be.
We must start by looking in the mirror, having a serious talk with ourselves, and ask what can we do, starting today in our own lives to live the life worth preserving.
Essentially, we need to be cool, yall. Change the tone of the political talk, don’t take the bait, and lead by example.
If you don’t know what to do or how to get involved in your local community, let me know, I will help. Now is the time to step up. Every time we know wrongs have been done and we let it slide; we make it easier for this to continue.
I understand that politics and the systems of government are confusing, intimidating, and most of us don’t know where to start. Tell me what you want to see done differently and I will help you find the process and people to talk to. You will get the run around, you will get wrong infor-mation, and you will keep trying and it will work. It will take time, it will be frustrating, but this is a bigger fight than we realize and we are running out of time. If you care about fellow human or want your children to live in an environment that resembles the one you remember, or better, you have no other choice.
Maturity is the ability to hold two opinions that conflict one another at the same time. We can change our minds with more information. Things are not all or none, for or against, and a difference of opinions is not conflict.
©2024 Sivie Writes and Sights. All rights reserved.
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